Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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