Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize