Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
