I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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