i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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