Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
