Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
