Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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