Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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