Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
