I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I could make wine with my vomit
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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