I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize