The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
