1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
