FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize