I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His nipple licking is glorious
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