I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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