....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
