haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
