six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
