and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
