I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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