Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ok first of all what the fuck
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
