Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
