you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
