How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
