3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize