i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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