I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
