So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
