What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
