Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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