No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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