you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
