There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
