As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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