Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
