tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
