The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
