Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
