he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Will exercising make me less horny?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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