I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
