So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
