Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
