We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it because I queefed?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
