her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
