Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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