So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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