I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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