When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
