Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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