woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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