Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
