My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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