would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
