Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize