wrigley field is MILF paradise
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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