So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
