One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize