No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
