So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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