hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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