her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
