And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize