i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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