Whod you bang
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
