I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
