My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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