My hand turned me down
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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