And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you never un-have a 4some
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
