watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
